Theo invented awards during lunch.

This was immediately dangerous.

He cut circles from old card and wrote titles across them in large black marker.

MOST LIKELY TO KNOW THE HOMEWORK: AVA.

MOST LIKELY TO TURN ANYTHING INTO A RACE: HARPER.

MOST LIKELY TO STARE AT WATER: JASPER.

Jasper accepted his card.

"Lazy."

"Accurate," Theo replied.

Soren received MOST LIKELY TO READ A MANUAL VOLUNTARILY.

Mia got MOST LIKELY TO BEAT HARPER WHEN IT MATTERS.

Harper objected for several minutes.

Benji received BEST SCHOOL FURNITURE LEGACY for the safety hooks and laughed hard enough to snort.

Then everybody started making awards.

Theo received MOST LIKELY TO CREATE A RULE NAMED AFTER HIM.

Harper received BEST RECOVERY FROM AN ARGUMENT SHE WAS DEFINITELY LOSING.

"That is not an award."

"It is now."

Ava made one for Harper.

MOST IMPROVED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE WORD NO.

Harper stared at it.

"Mean."

"Praise."

Jasper made Ava one.

MOST LIKELY TO ASK BEFORE WRITING IT DOWN NOW.

Ava went quiet.

Then smiled.

She made Jasper's carefully.

MOST LIKELY TO SAY I DON'T KNOW CORRECTLY.

Harper groaned.

"Your awards are emotional."

Jasper handed her another card.

BEST DRUMMER WHO KNOWS ONE RHYTHM.

"Better."

The awards had no authority.

Nobody won anything.

No teacher recorded them.

Most were thrown away by the end of lunch.

A few went into pockets.

Jasper put his two in the history box.

Later he found Harper had added another one without telling him.

MOST IMPROVED AT NOT BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ENTIRE OCEAN.

He stared at it.

Then laughed.

Some school awards mattered because adults decided they did.

These mattered because they did not.